


I'll Always Be Right Here

by Oddly_terrifying_squiggle



Series: Connor Murphy and Evan Hansen: Two Dorks In love [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Connor Has Anger Issues, Connor doesn't like Jared, Connor is great, Connor's life advice, Evan feels guilty, Evan loves Connor, Everyone Has Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, I'm not fond of Jared, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Jared Being an Asshole, M/M, Protective Connor Murphy, jared is, lots of hurt/comfort, minor smoking, not a good boy, there is lots of fluff, there's not too much angst though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 06:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16656328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oddly_terrifying_squiggle/pseuds/Oddly_terrifying_squiggle
Summary: Evan and Connor go on one of their usual walks after school. Everything was going great, but little did they know who would find them and how he would react to what he saw.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone wrote a comment on Getting Better asking how Jared would react to the treebros. I decided to write it even though it's been a while and I don't think it went terribly. I hope you enjoy reading <3

Evan grabbed his bag out of his locker and swung it over his shoulder before closing the metal door. 

“Hansen!” He nearly had a heart attack as soon as the locker door uncovered his family friend, the one and only Jared Kleinman, who had screamed his last name.

“Jared I, Jared I’ve told you not to scare me like that!” He scolded him and Jared only shrugged in response.

“Forgot, sorry about that,” he started as Evan turned to lock his lock. Jared never seemed to care that much, but at this point Evan knew how to read him. He didn’t quite understand how he could possibly forget since he told him every other day, but Jared did seem at least a little sincere, “What are you doing after school? I need help with my homework,” Jared asked.

“Uhh, actually, actually I, I have plans for after school…” He tried, declining anything wasn’t exactly Evan’s strong point. 

Jared gave him a skeptical look, “What have you been so busy with recently? I am literally the only one you’ve ever hung out with!” He was right, Evan had never really been busy. Others made fun of him or never took the time to notice him at all, and Jared was the only one that ever acknowledged his presence. Even if he wasn’t always too kind about it. But now he had Connor. And he loved Connor.

Evan began to get nervous, he started fidgeting with his shirt, “W-Well, I, I’ve just… I’ve had… stuff…” he mumbled, suddenly finding his shoes very interesting.

Jared gave him an incredulous expression, “Stuff? You have  _ stuff _ ? Wow, that was so descriptive! I definitely understand now!” He said in a very obviously sarcastic tone, “I’m not an idiot, Hansen, I know you’re just avoiding me for some reason!”

Evan took a step back, “W-Why do you care a-anyway? You’ve always said that you, that the only reason you hang out with me is, is because you want your mom to think that you were nice to me so she, so your parents would pay for your car insurance!” He struggled to get the words out. He turned to leave, and before Jared could stop him he disappeared into the crowd of students.   
  


Evan walked out to the parking lot, he went to the corner where he and Connor would meet everyday after school. A small space still close to Connor’s car, but still far enough for it to be private. No one really went there after school except for the teachers who check for trespassers after a few hours, and there were many trees that blocked out the view from the parking lot. Once he got there he saw Connor, he seemed to be spaced out, looking at the sky. He was...smoking. 

Evan walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder, “Hey, babe,” he greeted with a smile.

Connor looked to him, he returned his smile, “Hey, what took you so long?” He asked, hastily taking the cigarette out of his mouth.

Evan looked away, “Oh, just had to… find a paper in my locker,” he tried, although Connor looked like he didn’t believe him. Evan then attempted to change the subject. 

He snatched the cigarette out of his boyfriend’s hand, “We talked about the smoking!” He pouted.

Connor laughed nervously, “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry, it was just… a rough day today…” He reached into his pocket and took out a small box before handing it to Evan. 

Evan took it, he put the box and the half smoked cigarette in the nearby trash can. “It’s alright, we all have rough days and I know that you’re trying to quit, it’s not your fault. Just try not to resort to smoking, please,” he pleaded as he went back to Connor’s side.

Connor wrapped his arms around Evan, “Yeah, I promise,” he said, planting a kiss on his head.

Evan let out a happy hum. “...you smell like smoke…” he deadpanned, which then lead them both to break out into laughter. They pulled away sooner than either would have liked, but if they wanted to go on their walk they should get going.

“Hey, are you sure nothing happened at your locker?” Connor insisted, clearly worried, “You know I won’t hesitate to kick anyone’s ass of they hurt you.” He sounded like he was joking, but Evan knew he was serious, even though he still laughed.

“Yeah, there’s nothing you need to worry about, Con.” Evan knew that Connor already disliked Jared and if he gave him a reason to he would probably kill him. “Now, are we going to the park or are we just going to stand around here?”

Connor leaned in, “As long as I’m with you, I’ll happily go anywhere.” He crooned, mocking that sappy movie they saw last weekend.

Evan giggled, “Aww, you’re so cheesy,”  
  


The two boys walked along the path hand-in-hand, Connor never showed that he cared about what other people thought, Evan on the other hand could get a bit nervous. Whenever Connor felt that Evan was uncomfortable he would give his hand a squeeze and ask if he wanted him to let go. His answer was almost always no. They admired the late autumn scene, the orange and red leafs gently swaying in the breeze, landing onto the ground. It was calming, and not just for the shorter of the two. Evan had started to notice that taking these walks in the park helped Connor clear his head in even the slightest way. Besides, he couldn’t deny that Connor’s neon yellow rain boots looked amazing with the rest of his all black outfit.

Connor caught him staring at his feet and raised an eyebrow when he looked back up at him. “ I’m sorry, I just can’t get over your boots,” Evan admitted with a grin on his face.

Connor scoffed, “These are a fashion statement, Ev.” His expression was completely serious. That was, until he heard the other snort and his expression broke to a playful one. He lightly hit Evan’s arm, the shorter boy sticking his tongue out at him. 

They continued to walk, talking about nothing in particular. They laughed about their very arrogant English teacher and mocked the way he taught his class. Both of them wished that these moments would last forever, it made them both partially forget their problems and they loved to just talk about nothing. They would always find a way to prolong it, be it helping each other with homework on one of the park benches or pretending not to notice the time.

They came to a halt at one of the benches under a tree. Connor sat them down, still holding onto Evan’s hand. Evan watched Connor as leafs fell from under the tree, surrounding them both. He looked into Connor’s eyes. Those uniquely gorgeous eyes that he was sure no one else had. He knew that Connor wasn’t too fond of them, but they were alone. Evan brought a hand up to gently brush Connor’s bangs behind his ear, revealing his eye. This caught his attention and Connor looked startled for a second, then he visibly relaxed. He looked away, a light pink creeping onto his face. Evan hadn’t removed his hand, but instead moved it down to cup his face, gently brushing his thumb against his cheek. He felt Connor’s thumb begin to rub the back of his hand, as light as a feather. Connor’s eyes shifted back to him as the both of them leaned forward ever so slightly. 

They got closer by the second, Evan had moved his gaze to Connor’s parted lips and he faintly tilted his head. Connor’s eyes drifted closed, his mouth so very close, he could feel his warm breath lightly hit his skin when he breathed out. So close, their lips grazed and--

“No fucking way! Hansen?!” 

Evan once again felt his soul almost leave his body once he heard the familiar voice scream out. He jumped back before whipping his head around to where the source had come from. His body froze when he saw Jared, he looked at Connor from the corner of his eye, his hair had fallen back to cover his eye, he wore an annoyed expression, his lips a thin line, and he gripped the bottom of the park bench. Connor hated Jared. This wasn’t going to end well.

Jared cleared his throat and Evan noticed his thoughts had been distracting him. “ _ This  _ is what you’ve been blowing me off for this whole time!?”

“J-Jared, I, I-I’m, I just, I’m s--”

“You don’t need to apologize to him, Ev…” Connor’s voice stopped his stuttering, in fact he went completely silent. His voice was stern but it was still reassuring to Evan. Connor glared at Jared, that glare was intimidating to anyone who saw it, the latter’s shoulder’s had risen.

Jared scoffed and crossed his arms, “Oh yeah, let’s hear a completely unbiased opinion from the guy you were about to make out with!” His tone was once again sarcastic.

Evan looked down, he felt ashamed, guilty. How could he just ignore his only other friend like that. He shouldn’t have done it, he was just enjoying not being insulted and having Connor’s love and affection to help forget about everything. He was a terrible friend. Evan opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything Connor abruptly got up, he kept his expression as he walked over to Jared, towering over him. 

“Shut the fuck up, Kleinman!” Connor pointed at him, his tone was stern. Evan saw the shift in Jared’s face, he was clearly afraid the taller boy, but honestly who wouldn’t be? Connor could be terrifying when he wanted to be. “Listen here, you little shit, Evan is allowed to do whatever he wants, he can see whoever the fuck he wants to see, he’s allowed to not want to be insulted or guilted, and it’s definitely not his fucking job to make sure that  _ you _ , of all people, aren’t lonely after treating him like garbage.” By the time he was done he was yelling and he had balled up the front of Jared’s shirt.

Jared struggled against his grip, clawing at his hands in an attempt to push him off. Before he knew it, Evan had shot up and laid a hand on Connor’s shoulder, it was firm but not so much that it hurt or startled him. Connor looked over his shoulder and gave Evan a look which he tried to keep hard, although it softened easily. 

“Connor…”

The taller boy looked between the two of them before letting out a growl and shoving Jared off. He stumbled away from him, almost tripping various times. He quickly regained his posture, his face red as he panted, Evan thought he was about to have some kind of tantrum. He glared at them for a few moments.

“Fuck you! Assholes…”

And like that, Jared stomped away, fuming and grumbling as he got farther.

Evan felt himself start shaking, he crumbled back down onto the park bench. He tried to keep quiet, although he guessed that didn’t work since Connor’s heavy angered breathing suddenly came to a halt. He turned to Evan, his demeanor completely changing into that of a worried dog. He rushed over to Evan’s side, wrapping his arms around him once he was sure Evan was comfortable with it. Connor held him tighter, pressing a small kiss onto the top of his head. Evan leaned into him, the tight grip making him feel somewhat safe.

Then Evan began to realize that he should say something, apologize, anything. This was his fault after all, wasn’t it? “I’m, I’m sorry, I should have--”

He was cut off by the other boy, he shushed him before beginning to talk. “Hey, no, it’s not your fault, Ev. It’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong… if anything I may have overreacted a little bit. Or a big bit. You didn’t need to do anything.” Connor’s voice was the most comforting thing to him right now.

Evan had stopped shaking a bit but he felt his eyes begin to water. He sniffed, “But I--”

Connor hushed him again, giving him a squeeze and a smooch on the cheek, “No. You did nothing wrong, love.”

“I did nothing, period.”

Connor breathed in, it had no hint of annoyance or anger though, it was more worried. He let Evan cling onto his hoodie and bury his face in his chest. “Look, Ev, tell me, how long have we been dating?” He asked.

This kind of left Evan dumbfounded. He looked up at him, confused. Did he actually not know this or? “Uhm, a-about three months…”

“And for how much of that time have you decided to hang out with Jared instead?” He asked, although not accusing him of anything.

“Almost every weekend… and every time you were busy and I wasn’t…”

“Exactly. He shouldn’t expect you to set  _ every single important thing _ to you aside just for you to be able to see him. Especially since he treats you so horribly. Listen, you make time for him, you help him when he needs it, and you don’t make him feel like a loser. What does he do in return? Neglects you when he’s busy? Ignores you and your problems? Insults you and what you like? Uses you for car insurance?” 

Evan looked Connor in the eyes, he let the smallest smile rise to his face. He relaxed a bit, although that terrible feeling of a knot in his stomach was still there. He knew Connor was right. Jared never treated him great. It’s just that Evan never had a friend other than him and he always thought that’s how friends worked. Then he met Connor, and his entire world changed for the better. Sure, they had their ups and downs, but they could always get through it together. 

“Yeah, yeah you’re… you’re right. I should start to think about myself too… even if that’s easier said than done. Thank you,” Evan mumbled before reaching up to gently cup Connor’s face once again.

Connor smiled at him, he ran his hand through Evan’s hair, “No problem, baby, I’ll always be here for you. Right by your side when you need advice… even if I might not always take it myself, but you know.” 

Evan frowned at that and before he could say anything Connor spoke again, “Alright I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t say that.”

The shorter boy took a deep breath, “I should really talk to him though, Jared’s very… sensitive…” He admitted.

“I’d say that’s an understatement…” Connor stated, trying to lighten the mood even the smallest amount.

Evan did smile at that, maybe he even chuckled. He appreciated the attempt at making him feel better, he knew that Connor wasn’t particularly great at communication due to his… previous interactions, but he loved that he was trying.

“You want me to be there when you do it?” Connor asked. 

Evan shook his head, “No, thanks. I think I should do that alone. Would you pick me up after though, I think I’d really need to talk to you after that…”

Connor squished Evan’s cheeks, he just couldn’t resist, “Of course, Ev.” He pulled him in for a quick peck on the lips. Despite Evan’s pout, he kissed back. 

Connor pulled away before standing up and getting his backpack. He held his hand out to Evan, “Wanna go watch a movie at your place? We can get takeout if you want.”

Evan’s smile grew bigger. Connor really did know how to make him feel better. God, he loves him so much. He was trying so hard for him and Evan couldn’t be happier when he was with him. He took Connor’s hand and got up, “Yes please,” 

They walked back towards Connor’s car, this time he had his hand tightly around Evan’s waist to keep him close. The leafs crunched under their feet, the nice autumn smell letting the tension leave Evan. He wrapped both his arms around Connor, not caring about the awkward way they walked or the lingering smell of cigarettes. He just wanted to get as close as possible

“Hey Connor?”

“Hmm”

“I love you more than anything. You make everything worth it.”

“Evan, you have no idea how much I love you… you’ve gotten me out of some bad stuff, and I couldn’t be happier than when I’m with you.”

Evan beamed, he knew that this boy thought of him to be so important. Even though he wasn’t, it was a nice feeling. He wondered if Connor felt the same. Neither was alone anymore, and it was amazing to have someone right there with you when you need them. He thought what it would have been like if… it didn’t turn out like this. If what Connor had done worked then none of this would have happened and Evan would still be alone. But it didn’t. And he was so grateful that he had him. He didn’t know what he would do without Connor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I just don't really like Jared. Thank you very much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok Listen, I know it's been *checks the clock* WOW a few months! But I've been so busy and I was finally able to get this out! I hope you enjoy!

Connor pulled up to the address his boyfriend had texted him. It was a few days after what happened in the park and Evan decided that he needed to talk to Jared alone and work everything out. Of course, Connor thought he should just forget about him since he treats him so terribly, but Evan insisted. Although, he knew his anxiety would make it hard for him to confront Jared. He just hoped Evan was alright, he would beat himself up if something happened. Connor made sure that Evan knew he could call or text if he needed anything at all, but he had only received a text asking to pick him up at what he assumed was Jared’s house.

Evan’s house was actually walking distance from Jared’s, and they both knew this, but if you thought Connor was about to decline the request and not drive for twenty five minutes in order to comfort his boyfriend, you would be humiliatingly wrong. If Evan needed him right now he would most definitely drive through a hurricane to get to him. The boy meant so much to Connor and he wasn’t about to lose something this important to him. Not this time. Connor couldn’t count how many times the other boy had gone through great risks in order to make sure he was alright. It was only fair to return the favour.

He turned his full attention to the front door of the house once he saw it open. Evan stepped out of the small crack in the door, carefully shutting it behind him. He stood on the porch for a few seconds, taking a few deep breaths before looking around him. Once he spotted the Murphys’ car something close to relief crossed his features and he began walking.

Evan got close enough for Connor to see his face clearly, his eyes were red and puffy, there were clear tear streaks on his cheeks, and he wore an expression with so many emotions. There was sadness, guilt, relief, and many other things he couldn’t quite understand mixed in his eyes. He felt the need to comfort Evan, something in him urging him to reach out and just do anything to make him feel better.

Evan went around the car and opened to door to the passenger’s seat. He climbed in without a word and decided to instead greet the other with a weak smile.

Connor gave Evan a worried look. He slowly reached over and put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He moved his hand up to card his fingers through his dirty blond hair. The shorter boy leaned into the touch, letting out a small breath and closing his eyes. The corners of his lips quirked up into a tiny smile. Connor kept his hand in his hair.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Connor asked, his tone soft.

Evan took a second to think before he nodded once, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.” He said then took a deep breath, “Can we go to my place first though?”

“Of course we can.” Connor said. He recoiled his hand and put it on the steering wheel. He started the short drive to the other’s house.  


Evan walked through the door and plopped down onto the couch. Connor locked the door behind him as he walked in then went to the kitchen and got a tub of ice cream and a spoon. He sat next to the other boy and handed him the spoon. This was all routine by now. They mostly hung out in Evan’s house since his mom was working and Connor’s parents didn’t really care where he was, so he learned to make himself at home.

“So what happened?” Connor asked after Evan got a spoonful of the frozen treat.

Evan took a minute before he responded, probably gathering his thoughts. “So, I went to his house to apologize for ignoring him and I tried to work things out with him.” He started.

Connor’s eyes widened, “Wait, why would _you_ apologize to _him_?”

Evan fiddled with his cast, the other’s name in big letters was still there, “Well, I just, you know, I did kind of spend less time with him, even if I want time to do something I want to…”

“Ev…” Connor said. Yeah, it came out a little more disapproving than he meant, but he was truly worried about him.

Evan looked him in the eyes, “I felt guilty! And it didn’t help that he kept blaming me for everything...”

Connor saw red for a second, then took a deep breath to calm himself, “What do you mean he blamed you for everything?” He asked as gently as he could manage. He was going to kick Jared’s teeth in.

“Well I tried to reason with him and tried to make him realize how badly he treats me sometimes and how he can be a bit of a jerk… but then he managed to turn that onto me,” Evan’s voice was quiet, it was like he felt as if it was his fault Jared was such an ass.

“What did he say, Ev?” Connor was quickly getting more and more irritated towards Jared. But he’d have to deal with it when he was done with his priority: making his boyfriend feel better.

Evan rubbed the back of his neck before taking another spoonful of ice cream, “When I told him what we talked about, he said that I’ve been completely neglecting him and asked if our childhood friendship meant nothing to me and why I was being such a selfish asshole…” He started, then paused to collect his thoughts, “And I told him that I’ve only been hanging out with him less, not that I completely forgot about him, and that our friendship was great but he had to see that he wasn’t being that great to me, ever!”

Connor gripped the couch cushion, hard, “And what did he say then?”

Evan turned his gaze away from the other, “He just kept making excuses for himself, he always refuses to accept his mistakes and blames everyone around him. And no matter how many times I’ve been through it he always convinces me it’s my fault…” His voice wavered as he finished his sentence.

Connor scooted closer to Evan and wrapped an arm around his shoulders in an attempt at comforting him. “No, babe, this isn’t your fault. You deserve to be happy.”

Evan made a disgruntled noise, then sighed once he saw the pointed look he got in response, “I, I know…” Evan was at least able to admit that. His eyes began to water, “So I tried to stand up for myself, and then he said something that made me really mad…” He licked his lips, and Connor could tell that he was trying really hard to keep his voice steady.

“What was it?” The taller boy asked.

Evan took in a shaky breath before he mustered up the courage to continue, “...He said that being with you clouded my judgement. That… that being with such a burnout would turn me into an even bigger freak than you. I got really annoyed and then I started to defend you and then he said that you, that you’re ‘just some pothead freak with no future or talent who’ll probably shoot up a school when he grows up’.” Evan averted his eyes, he seemed to be looking anywhere but at Connor. He caved in on himself and his hair hung over his eyes as if he was ashamed, and Connor couldn’t understand why. “So I started yelling and he started yelling back and we were just yelling at each other. And we said a lot of things…” His words quickened despite his struggle to get them out, by now his body was shaking and tears were spilling out of his eyes and down his cheeks, his fists gripping the cushions.

Connor was mostly unfazed by the insults. He was so used to them he was almost immune. He already knew he was useless, broken, not worthy of life. It was good in some ways, but there were times when he felt so broken he would just want to feel something. Anything. But he was alone. Completely alone. His parents didn’t care, his sister hated him, and everyone else thought he was freak.

And then Evan walked into his life. The light returned and there was a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he could be happy again. The boy didn’t let him down once. He would just call and Evan would be right there to help him.

However, Connor still felt the red hot stripe of anger crawl up the back of his neck. Jared was always a huge dick to Evan and one day he was going to see how much he just lost. Jared had no friends, and that was the truth. He found Evan through their moms’ friendship and saw an opportunity. He was lonely and sad and mad about it so he took it out on Evan, who was already battling anxiety. But Evan always put up with it. He made excuses for Jared because he didn’t want to hurt him, but he ended up hurting himself. Sure, Jared’s situation was sad but that didn’t justify him being an asshole. Although he guessed that was a little hypocritical coming from him.

Seeing his boyfriend like this was hard for Connor. His body shaking, the tears flowing with no intent to stop, the need to make himself as small as possible as he struggled to breathe. And it was even harder for Evan, of course.

Connor needed to help him. Just comfort him, do _something_ other than stare at him, you idiot, pay attention!

“I-I’m sorry, I—” Evan began to hurriedly apologize.

Connor put the ice cream on the coffee table and wrapped Evan in his arms in one swift movement. He felt the shorter of them tense under him for a second, maybe out of surprise or fear or both, but it was gone as soon as it came. Evan hugged him back, he gripped the back of Connor’s jean jacket as he sobbed into his chest. Connor used one hand to pet his hair and the other to trace little comforting patterns on Evan’s back. He placed a small kiss to the top of latter’s head before he decided on resting his chin on it.

To any other people the whole situation would be a little awkward, sure, but to these two it was one of the most comforting things they could feel. To be this close to someone that you knew would always be there for you, to be able to touch them and realize that they’re actually there, it was really happening, to both of them it was something they would rarely feel before. Evan’s mom tried her hardest and he loved her, hell, she was a great mom to Connor too, but she wasn’t always around, and his dad couldn’t care less about him. Connor’s mom, he really did love his mom and he knew she was trying her best, and his father had a hard time with emotions, he knew he was making an attempt in his own way even if it’s not very helpful, but it did take them Connor almost dying to get the fact that he wasn’t okay through their head.

Evan understood the hardships he had and that he still goes through, maybe not all of them but he still listens. In a way, he guessed they were both lucky. Maybe not in the sense that a lot of their life was less than ideal, but they were both alive. They were still breathing and they had their whole lives ahead of them to experience love and joy. Maybe they’d be together, maybe they won’t, but all that mattered was that they were together now.

Evan felt safe with Connor’s arms wrapped tightly around him. It was like they were keeping him grounded while some ungodly force was trying to suffocate him. Like Connor was protecting him. He was safe when he was with Connor. With the sweet nothings being whispered in his ear and the gentle shushing. With the familiar but now faint smell of cigarettes mixed with expensive body spray his dad must have gotten him for some birthday or holiday. It was nice, although he had to admit not a great smell, but still nice. And before he knew it his hands were no longer gripping to the other like his life depended on it, instead just holding him as tightly as Connor was him.

“Thanks…” Evan softly muttered into the other’s shoulder. He pulled away and managed a tiny smile.

Connor just returned the smile, reaching up to gently wipe the shorter boy’s tears away with his thumb. “You don’t need to thank me, Ev.”

Evan nodded at him and rubbed his red puffy eyes. There was a moment of comfortable silence between them for a moment before he spoke up again, “Hey Con?”

“Hmm?”

Evan averted his eyes slightly and his smile became a little awkward, “Can you… stay over tonight? Please?” The question sounded almost shy, even though they’ve done it countless times.

A fond expression grew on Connor’s face. He reached for the other’s hand, giving it a light and comforting squeeze. “Of course, love. Whatever you need.” He responded softly, careful to keep his voice low in order to avoid scaring him.

“Thank you…”

Another moment of silence came, just them holding hands and sitting on Evan’s old scratchy couch. Then Connor began to stand up, only to be stopped by Evan lightly pulling on his hand. When Connor turned to him he looked a bit panicked.

“Where are you going?” He asked quietly, letting go of his hand and looking down as if he regretted asking that. “I mean— Sor—”

“Don’t be. I’m just going to call my mom and tell her I won’t be home tonight okay?”

Evan nodded, letting Connor fully stand up and take the almost melted ice cream while he was at it. He walked into Evan’s kitchen so he could put the ice cream back in the freezer and the spoon in the sink. Once he did, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone before looking for his mom’s name in his call history. It rang once, twice, thrice before his mom picked up in a slight panic.

“ _Connor! Where are you?! It’s late!_ ” She interrogated him in a worry, her voice so loud he flinched.

“Calm down, mom, I’m just at a friend’s house. We’re doing a project and I’m staying over so we can finish it.” He lied flawlessly, trying to calm her down.

“ _Connor, this is one of those things you’re supposed to call me about before you go missing for hours! You’re my son and I care about you! You know how worried I get, especially after—_ ” She stopped her rambling to clear her throat, “ _Just. Call me sooner next time. Please?_ ” Her tone grew quiet as she asked for his word. Connor knew what she was talking about. It was obvious. And he understood. He couldn’t argue with that.

“Okay mom, I promise. I’ll call if anything. Sorry.” He really did need to start calling his mom more often, although he guessed he would have to make it a habit.

Before he could hang up his mom spoke up again.

“ _I love you, Connor,_ ” She said.

“Love you too, mom.” And with that, he hung up.

Connor put his phone down and stared at the counter for a second, gripping the edge of it as he gathered his thoughts. He shouldn’t get too involved. Of course he’d be there to help Evan however he could but he shouldn’t stick more than his nose into this. Well, Jared _did_ say some shit about Connor, even though he didn’t really care that much he could use that as an excuse. Oh, fuck it.

He picked his phone up again and opened his messages. He clicked on Zoe’s name and scrolled through their almost non existent completely professional previous conversations. Connor and Zoe's relationship wasn’t great, especially before the incident happened. But at least Connor was trying to preserve their relationship now. It was still kind of awkward between them, but things are definitely better. Even though they don’t exactly have a text relationship. Their previous conversations only consist of, “ _Connor, where the fuck is the milk?_ ” “ _Zoe don’t touch my shit._ ” And “ _Your room smells like shit, I can smell it from my room, how much fucking weed did you smoke asshole?_ ” A tiny smile spread on Connor’s lips as he read them.

 **Weedhead:** Zoe can you do me a favour

 **Hippie:** And what’s in it for me?

 **Weedhead:** The love and appreciation from your big brother

 **Hippie:** As if

 **Hippie:** I want your weed money

 **Weedhead:** What am I supposed to buy my weed with, genius?

 **Hippie:** Your love and appreciation

 **Weedhead:** Ha ha

 **Hippie:** I know you dont need it, I’ve seen you buying cigarettes instead and I know you’re trying to quit for your mystery “no homo best friend dude bro totally straight pal”

Connor felt a little embarrassed, although amused. Was it really that obvious or was Zoe just that smart? Probably both.

 **Weedhead:** Listen Sherlock Holmes I still buy weed and he’s just a friend

 **Hippie:** Uh huh, right

 **Weedhead:** Fuck you

 **Weedhead:** I’ll give you 30 bucks no more than that.

 **Hippie:** 35 plus tax, and extra for heavy lifting

 **Weedhead:** 32 bucks.

 **Hippie:** Fine

 **Hippie:** What do you want?

 **Weedhead:** So I know that you and your “totally not my girlfriend” have some kind of super skill where you can find out anything on anyone and I think this will be a low level task

 **Hippie:** Alana’s not my girlfriend!

 **Weedhead:** If I walk in on you two making out I will never be surprised

 **Hippie:** Shut up or i’m not helping you!!

 **Weedhead:** Alright alright don’t get so defensive

 **Weedhead:** Can you get me Kleinman’s phone and/or locker number? I’d do it myself but I’m busy right now

 **Hippie:** Is that seriously all? That shit takes like 2 mins! What could you possibly be doing that you can’t take a second to do it yourself

 **Hippie:** And what do you possibly want from Jared Kleinman?

 **Hippie:** Are you gonna like shoot him or smth, you’re being real sketchy

 **Weedhead:** Mind your business

 **Weedhead:** Can you just do it please?

 **Hippie** : Fine, I’ll get to you in a min

 **Weedhead:** Thx

 **Weedhead:** Oh and one more thing

 **Weedhead:** I’m not home tonight, don’t go in my fucking room or you’ll lose your leg. I’ll know.

 **Hippie:** Why the fuck would I ever go within 5 ft of your stinky ass weed room

 **Weedhead:** You sleep in that ratio

 **Hippie:** My bed is in the other side of the room and that part is isolated quarantine

 **Hippie:** Anyway, have fun screwing your bf!

 **Weedhead:** ZOE!!!!

Connor let out a small laugh as he exited the app and locked his phone, putting it back in his pocket. He had to admit that Zoe wasn’t an idiot, so she would find out sooner or later. Let’s just hope she can keep her mouth shut. At least she doesn’t know it’s Evan, and he knows about Alana so he has that on her.

Connor went back to the living room to find Evan curled up on the couch, watching some show on the TV. He sat up to make room for Connor once he saw him. The latter sat next to Evan and pulled him onto his lap, holding him tightly once again. Evan relaxed into his boyfriend, his breathing becoming slow and relaxed, with only the occasional sniffle. Connor played with the other’s soft hair. All of it made Evan blissfully drowsy.

Evan groggily sat up and turned to Connor. They just stayed like that and looked at each other for a while, love in their eyes. Evan began to slowly lean in, his eyes getting closer to shut with every little movement. Connor’s gaze shifted from the other’s eyes to his soft, pink lips. Their lips parted, almost touching, so close that one of then only had to move their head slightly. Evan was technically the one to do it as he brought his hands up to cup Connor’s cheeks and gently pull him in. Their lips met in a delicate kiss and Connor held Evan tighter as the latter moved one of his hands up to the other’s hair. The kiss deepened as both of them tilted their heads. It was only a loving gesture, both knew it wouldn’t lead to anything heated. They were just kissing.

Evan pulled away, breathless, “I love you,” he mumbled with a tiny smile, “so much.”

“I love you so much, too, baby.” Connor’s tone was fond. He patted one of Evan’s leg, “Now come on, let’s get you to bed, ok?”

Evan only nodded in response.  


The two lay curled up in Evan’s bed together. Evan was now in his pajamas, and Connor borrowed one of his old t-shirts. Connor may be a lot taller than his boyfriend, but Evan’s shirts were always so huge on him. Connor held Evan tightly, the latter resting his head and hands on the other’s chest, fast asleep. Connor found it reassuring to watch him sleep, he just looked so completely peaceful. He guessed it kind of reminded him that he wasn’t a complete monster. He couldn’t be if he was good enough to have Evan in his arms, trusting him completely.

Connor’s phone vibrated on the nightstand and he reached over to grab it. He got a text from Zoe with the information he asked for. Connor thanked her and put the phone back, going back to holding Evan.

What the fuck was he actually going to do with this? He didn’t really think it through. Connor didn’t want to be an asshole, so he probably wasn’t going to use the phone number. Maybe he’ll just talk to Jared tomorrow at school. But what exactly would he say? ‘Hey, you dick, you were an asshole to both me and the love of my life. You don’t deserve him anyway, you don’t know what you lost!’? Actually, that wasn’t horrible.

Connor’s thoughts began to slow as sleep began to get a tight hold on him. His eyes closed and he gave in.  


That next afternoon, as soon as the bell went for everyone to go home, Connor was standing in front of Jared’s locker. He began to wonder where the hell he was, pretty much everyone was gone. Not that it mattered much to Connor, he had the car and Evan was taking the bus home to do his assignment right away, but he was taking Zoe home with him today. Plus, he wanted to get a word in with Jared.

Finally, Connor saw him walking to his locker, groaning once he saw Connor in front of it. Jared walked up to him and he stepped to the side so he could open his locker.

“Kleinman.”

“What the fuck do you want, Murphy?” He snapped at him, tone cold.

“Calm the fuck down, I don’t want trouble, I just want to talk.” Connor said as he tried his best not to start anything.

Jared growled, kicking his locker door when the lock wouldn’t open. He tried again, “What is this even about? Did Hansen go cry to you last night, mister Knight In Shining Armour? What, are you gonna threaten to shoot my family or something?”

Connor took a deep breath, “Yes, Evan told me what happened, and I comforted him because it was the decent thing to do. But I guess you wouldn’t know that, would you?” He was beginning to get irritated, so he was a little more passive aggressive, but he tried to calm himself down.

Jared looked away. He stayed silent for a second, waiting for Connor to leave. When he didn’t he spoke up again. “What the fuck do want with me, you freak?” He started to raise his voice, “You think you’re so special, so entitled to just take Evan and change him so much, huh? You’re nothing but an attention whore! You--”

Connor had just about enough of this by now, “No, I didn’t ‘change’ Evan. You can’t just change somebody, they change by themselves. I didn’t make Evan any different, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed but he’s been a hell of a lot happier since I gave him a reason to hang out with someone other than you, Kleinman. But maybe you just don’t care enough to see that.” Connor felt that hot stripe of anger go through him again, his voice was getting louder now. “What the fuck even is your problem? All you’ve ever done for Evan was being a manipulative asshole who uses him because he has no other friends. Evan is a great person and one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You have no idea what you lost.”

Connor turned and walked away before Jared could give him an answer. The latter stood there for a while, he looked down. Jared slammed his locker shut and ran in the other direction.  


Connor walked out to his car. He found Zoe leaning against it with a science project in her hands. She stood up straight when she saw him.

“Where the friggin' hell were you? I was waiting for ten minutes.” Zoe asked, annoyed. In fact, she was tapping her foot.

Connor took the keys out and unlocked the car. “I had to take care of something.” He said simply.

Zoe rolled her eyes, “Jacking off in the bathroom doesn’t count as ‘taking care of something’.”

Connor looked at her and made a disgusted noise, “You’re… _so_ gross.”

“Whatever, let’s just go.” She insisted as she put the project into the back seat and strapped herself in next to it. Connor could have sworn he saw her smile.

“Yes, ma’am.” Connor got in the front seat and started the car.

“Don’t call me ma’am, I’m not an old lady.”

“Whatever you say, your highness”

Zoe then smacked him in the back of the head. Both of them laughed. He handed her the thirty two dollars he owed her, much to Zoe’s pleasure. The rest of the ride was peaceful, albeit a little awkward at times. It was nice. Connor wished all of their conversations went like this.

As soon as they got home, Connor went straight to his room and emailed Evan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience and for reading, I hope you likes the chapter <3!
> 
> Comments and kudos are very appreciated!


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